Bay Area Disability
Network
Archived Miscellaneous Advice
Support Group for Spouses
If you prick us, do we not bleed?
Disability and language
Been down so long
Occasional help
Seeking local Praise and Sign group
Good comebacks
Big Time Crip
Service dog etiquette
Getting a service dog
Service dog etiquette
I like dogs, and have two of my own, but last week for the second time I saw a “service dog” whose owner was in a wheelchair barking at a passerby for no reason. This person didn’t seem to be bothered, but lots of people are afraid of dogs, and it doesn’t seem right that they should have to brave unfriendly dogs in stores and restaurants. I’ve heard that anyone can say their dog is a service dog and no one is allowed to even ask what their disability is. What’s the deal?
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You may not ask a person 'what their disability is?' in order to establish whether the dog accompanying them is a service dog. A professionally trained service dog is on duty whether they're wearing the special cape that designates the school they were trained at, or not.
Service dog also come in a variety of shapes and sizes. They can be trained to do a number of things including protection, if necessary. But dogs are dogs and sometimes they don't act the way they are supposed to. Now your point concerning service dog identification is important but it should never be confused with the very separate, and much more serious issue, of singling out a person based on whether their disability is 'legitimate' enough to warrant bringing a service dog into a public place. The city of Berkeley provides free service dog tags to owners. Normally the fee is about $22, but owners can present proof of the service dog's training and receive free registration tags. My service dog, Unique, proudly wears BSD#22. So the next time you encounter a dog that is distressed, or appearing not to obey the commands of its owner, you might be the perfect person to help. It is important to remember that there can be many reasons why a service dog is not wearing proper identification, but that won't stop them from trying to do their job. It could just be the person, not the dog, who needs your help. Joshua Davidson
Getting a service dog
Hi I am unable to drive around to all the different shelters. Could someone help me???? I qualify for an assistance dog. I need help getting around to choose one-what do I do?
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You are looking in the wrong place, my friend. Service dogs require years of training by professional dog handlers. Even once they are trained, a service total will be useless to you unless it is carefully matched to your personality and your specific needs. All of this work cost money, lots of it. Some schools offer programs to help financially disadvantaged people add a service dog to their life. It can take a while, sometimes years, but the wait is well worth it. You should start by contacting the Assistance Dog Institute at 707-545-3647 (DOGS). They're located in Santa Rosa. Another good program is Paws with a Cause. They are located in the Midwest, but they will send out a representative to meet you and discuss your needs. Good luck!
Big Time Crip
Does anyone know any history of a famous person named (I'm not kidding) "Big Time Crip"? Evidently, he was a tap dancer in the 30s who only had one arm and one leg. I'm amazed about this, but evidently he really did exist. Anyone know about him? Are there videos/photos of him?
- Well, Mr. Internet didn't have much. Here are the two snippets that might refer to him: - A 1938 edition of MIT's 'The Tech' reviews Lew Leslie's 'Blackbirds' all-Black Review. One sentence states that 'The vigorous routines of 'Big Time' Crip, one legged dancer, are quite unusual.' - Andy Kirk and his 12 Clouds of Joy recorded a song entitled 'Big Time Crip' in 1941. I also found others who'd recorded this track, but I didn't find any clips of it. This sounds like a great little documentary if more could be found. Keep looking!
Good comebacks
Has anybody got a good comeback for (possibly) well-intentioned treatment suggestions? I’ve got MS, and I wish I had a dollar for every cure that has somebody’s friend, or the friend’s friend, or the friend’s friend’s great-aunt leaping out of her wheelchair to run in the Bay to Breakers. I just listen politely, or sometimes try to explain how variable MS is, and how many treatments have come and gone over the years. I sense this lets them believe I’m disabled because I choose to be, and it gets old.
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I don't have MS but I have a chronic health condition and I get a lot of suggestions as to how I should be living my life. Most are fairly innocuous but the ones that fall under the “attitudinal change” tend to grate on me. Positive thinking is a fine thing but having tried a couple of controlled experiments I can state categorically that it is does not work. Otherwise the people giving me the advice would have turned into six foot talking turnips (I’ve actually visualized worse things). Then again perhaps I'm confusing positive visualization with positive thinking. I don't have any good comebacks but I do find that responding to the person by suggesting in response that they should get (fill in the blank- almost everyone has something; a mole, a scrape, their weight, a hangnail…) checked by a doctor seems to put the ball back in their court and also suggests that the state of each other's body is not always up for open discussion.
Seeking local Praise and Sign group
The Oakland Mayor's Commission on Persons with Disabilities is trying to contact a local (perhaps San Francisco) group called Praise and Sign- they sing and sign. We thought they could be reached through a school called S R Martin, but that is not part of the SF Public Schools system. I emailed DCARA already. Does anyone know of this group? We hope to invite them to perform at an event on April 20th. Thanks very much!
Occasional help
I have a lower back injury, and so I can't lift anything over 10 lbs.I can do most things independently, but I occasionally have need to hire someone to do chores and stuff around the house (moving furniture, turning mattresses, things like that). I never seem to have enough to hire someone for a day. Is there a service where I can get someone to do small chores on an occasional basis? Thank you! Carol
- I haven't found a service for occasional help, but I still have developed a helper system for myself. My local hardware store employees often do freelance work on their days off. So I call them when I need repairs done. They work by the hour and can be scheduled a day or so in advance. They didn't have it posted, I just walked in and asked if any of them did occasional handiwork. For the non-repair work, I find putting notices up at local churches, grocery stores, and even in neighbor's mailboxes is helpful. My best non-repair helpers at the moment are the neighbor's high school kids. Their backs are strong and their prices very low.
Been down so long
Question:
I've been taking medication for depression for several years, and nothing has
worked for me at all. I could list all the meds I've taken, but it would make
this a VERY long email. So I'll be brief: Does anyone know of any medication
that has had good results with people who haven't responded to medications?
My depression is ruining every aspect of my life: my family life, my job, my
self esteem (as if I had any). Please, someone, tell me there is hope.
Answer:
There are about 20 different anti-depressants. You need to try each med for
about a month. The new one, Lexapro, is good but all medications can have side
effects for different people.
Disability and language
Question:I've always heard that you shouldn't
adapt language based on a person's disability. For example, when you are talking
to a blind person, you should still say, "Have you seen this movie?"
instead of "Have you heard this movie?" But recently, a blind woman
I met kept responding to those type of questions with "Of course I haven't
SEEN that movie, I'm blind!". I couldn't really tell if she was kidding
around or if she really thought I said something wrong. Now I'm hopelessly confused.
Any help?
Answers:
- I understand your confusion. But please understand that people with disabilities,
like all people, are not all the same. Different people get offended by different
things. So I would see a situation like this as an opportunity to find out
about this particular person's sensibilities. Maybe you could say something
like, "Does the use of 'to see a movie' offend you? Is there a different
verb you'd prefer I use?" To me, that acknowledges both of you, and opens
the door to ever more egalitarian conversation. Anonymous
- Dealing fairly regularly with a number of people who are blind, I've noticed
no offense at my using typical language about 'seeing a TV show' or similar.
(Perhaps they are withholding their discomfort? I doubt it, but it would be
nice to hear from someone who is blind.) I took my cue from a video I once
saw called 'What Do you Do When you See a Blind Person?' which recommends
keeping typical language. The video is available for viewing at the SFSU library,
if it interests you. david in berkeley
- I recently volunteered as a sighted guide for blind/visually impaired people
at a conference exhibit hall. I too, was curious what language was used with,
and by people who are blind or visually impaired. The people who were blind
OFTEN used language like 'Oh, I really want to go see the new (such &
such)' when they were talking about visiting a vendor's booth. When they got
to the vendor's booth, they often asked 'Can I see the (such & such product)?'
I suppose it could depend if the person has never had sight, or if they lost
their sight later in life (old language habits die hard). It seems to me that
you probably can't win, it will just depend on the person you are speaking
to. I also asked a young blind woman how I was supposed to know if a blind
person wanted help with navigation or not. She gave a pretty obvious answer..
it's ok to ask, but it all depends on how you word it. She said If someone
comes up to her and says 'ARE YOU LOST??' she's more likely to get offended
than if someone asks something like 'Would you like some assistance or are
you ok?'. My point is, I guess, is that you should strive to be respectful,
sensitive, and thoughtful, while treating the person just like everyone else!
And, if all else fails, make a joke! For instance, 'Boy am I an idiot, what
was I thinking!?' Anonymous
- People are people, disability or no. Some are going to be offended no matter
what you say, some will accommodate the most obvious insults, and most will
fall somewhere between. It's impossible to assume that there is a sole 'right'
way to talk to any representative of a given group. What I might have done
in the situation you described is to rephrase the question, e.g., 'Did you
go to that movie?' If she still gets upset, perhaps ask what she thinks the
right way to answer the question might be. Anonymous
- The problem with giving advice on disability is that there are no universal
answers. This is a perfect illustration of that. The rule of thumb is, you
don't change your language, and in fact, most of us blind folk would be more
offended by 'Have you heard that movie?' than by saying 'Have you see that
movie?' In my more charitable moments, I think the person you mentioned was
just kidding around, but it's completely within the realm of possibility that
the person you were speaking with is just a jerk. In any event, you are right:
you don't change the language based on the disability. You ask people who
are wheelchair users to 'go for a walk' with you. You ask blind people if
they have 'seen' the movie. You ask deaf people if they have 'heard about
this play'. Anonymous
Question:
If you prick us, do we not bleed?
Hey folks, I need some info on a disability related issue I faced today on campus.
Around lunchtime there was a mobile blood bank set up in the parking lot. I
went to give blood and was told that since I couldn't fill the form out myself
then I couldn't give blood. I protested saying I could sign the form myself
if the nurses helped me fill out the form. But they said it's an FDA mandate
that people fill out their own forms and since I couldn't, I couldn't give blood.
This is my first time hearing about this rule and I wondered if anybody has
any information on it. Judi
Answers:
- The standard "Criteria for Acceptable Donation" checklist runs
to 11 pages of reasons that they would defer taking blood. The medical conditions
guidelines runs to 20 pages and refers to various conditions that can be disabling.
ALS gets a permanent deferral CP is OK if "donor safety can be ensured
during phlebotomy", but I can't find anything that refers to being able
to sign the form yourself. I'm wondering if the person at the desk just didn't
want to deal with the hassle…Next time I'd ask to speak to the medical
director (if there's one available) or ask for their contact details so that
you can speak to the person later.
- I contacted the American Red Cross Blood Bank in the east bay. I asked if
I could donate blood if I cannot fill out the form. I said I heard it was
an FDA rule that I had to fill it out myself before I was allowed to donate
blood. They replied: "No, this is not true. The staff can fill out the
Blood Donor record. You sign it after your screening has been completed. Maureen
Atwood RN"
Support Group for Spouses
I am looking for a support group for spouses of disabled people. My husband
has disabling degenerative back disease, and he has many cognitive problems
due to the medications he must take to treat his illness. I have never a support
group that fits our profile. Does anyone know of one that might be appropriate
for me? Anonymous
You should try the Family Caregiver Alliance - they are a support organization
for family members who are caring for relatives with long term health issues,
particularly brain impairments. They have an 800 number you can call anywhere
in California - (800) 445-8106
